My survival guide to post partum depression

PPD- Post Partum Depression. 

This word might be new to some people however it doesn't deny the fact this has been here forever. Women who suffer sadness, fatigue (mental and physical) and trauma after delivery usually slip into this. There are endless reasons to this.

* traumatizing experience in labor room.

* keeping lots of hopes from partner.

* no help with handling a new born.

* feeling out of shape due to pregnancy.

* not getting proper nutritional meals.

* stress of being a perfect mother. 

* haunting taunts and negative feedbacks from society. 

* financial instability.

* being stuck at home, unable to pursue career goals.

* more dependent kids at home seeking mother's attention. 

* no social life post delivery.

* issues in Marital life.

* non-supportive in-laws.

* sleep deprived 

and so on....every women can have their own personal reason apart from these causing depression. Ironically they don't even know they are into one.

The first step to my survival guide is to recognize the fact that you are suffering. When you go to doctor with some unjustified illness, he runs some tests to find out the reason of your illness. Hence it is crucial that you recognize what you are going through. Ask these questions to yourself:

1. Are you getting enough sleep and nutrition?

2. Do you feel sad and hold back your tears mostly?

3. Do you miss your social life and work place?

4. Do you feel motherhood is a burden?

5. Do you feel yourself less capable as a mother?

6. Do you think your partner could have been more helpful in taking care of the newborn?

7. Are you taking the negative feedbacks on your parenting skills seriously?

8. Do you feel the physical changes in your body post delivery cannot be reversed?

9. Do you regret having kids?

10. Are you physically and mentally exhausted most of the time?

If the answer to half of the questions is YES, you are probably going through PPD.

Acceptance-Now that you know you are into one, just accept it. Acceptance is the key to cure. It's not a big deal as 90 percent women experience PPD. There had been stories about women who killed her newborn by putting it into the washing machine and another story that a women abandoned her new born baby in an unknown vehicle because the baby was crying continuously from days and she was sleep deprived and mentally exhausted. 

These stories are scary but true. You need to be strong as a new mom. When you accept your weakness then only you can work on them to overcome them.  Mental health is as important as physical health rather it is more important. 

Seek help- The moment you accept your condition, it becomes easier for you to ask for help. Don't hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or a mental health professional. PPD is a treatable condition, and getting the right help can make a big difference. If that doesn't work being in a society where mental illness is pretty underrated and mostly considered drama when  comes to being a woman, you have other options like talking to a friend or colleague who is more sensitive about mental health. Hire a maid or a nanny to take care of household chores and the infant so that you can have some rest during first 40 days after your delivery. 

Set routines- This looks difficult to set a routine with an infant however if you can achieve this....bravo! Life becomes much easier around babies if we follow a routine. Sleep when the baby sleeps. House chores can wait. 

Me time- No matter how busy you are with your new responsibilities as a mom, steal some ME time for the sake of your sanity. Taking care of an infant 24x7 takes a toll on your physical and mental health. Find out ways to detach yourself from the mother in you and look at youself as a person you are, even if it is for just 20 mins a day. Ask your partner to watch the baby for couple of hours while you go for a walk or watch your favorite movie or feed yourself your favorite pizza. 

Nap more often - Sounds difficult for a new mom however if you plan it out well, it might win you some extra sleep hours. For a women 6 hrs of uninterrupted sleep is mandatory. Otherwise her hormones will go haywire. Let's be honest, 6 hours uninterrupted sleep is just a dream for a woman who is nursing and taking care of her baby. Follow a simple rule....nap when you can! Don't think about laundry, dishes in the sink, sinking toilet. Just feed yourself nice and healthy stuff and while the baby is taking its nap, drop everything and sleep. If you have other kids at home, busy them with something like a cartoon movie or some art work so they don't disturb you. Make sure they have access to some snacks otherwise they will keep bothering you with their hunger panks. 

Live Guilt Free - Most people get into depression only because of one reason GUILT. 'I am not a good mom.', 'I am not taking good care of my baby.', I feel terrible as a mom.', 'I am eating too much.', 'I am burden on my husband because of this baby.' all these thoughts and many more only adds more guilt to your system. As a new mother, you deserve every ounce of attention and care. Be a little selfish and think about your well being more than anything else. 

Eat well: After giving birth, our health takes a toll. It undergoes a lot of wear and tear which needs repair. During this time, its very important to feed ourselves some good food which helps you heal better. Include protein-rich and dietary fibers in your diet. Have some cheat days to keep your soul happy and your mood swings in place.

Communicate- Talk about your feelings. Don't keep your feelings bottled up. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or therapist, about what you're going through. Connect with other new mothers: Joining a support group or talking to other new mothers can help you feel less alone and provide you with helpful tips and advice. 

Vent out your feelings- Must have heard of Greek way of venting out anger. It doesn't mean you start smashing your crockery. You can vent out your unheard, un-noticed feelings by converting them to some other emotion. If you feel unloved, pamper yourself. Snack on your favorite chocolate or ice-cream, visit a salon for a manicure or pedicure or just buy yourself something. If you feel angered, do some household chores which need strength. Convert your energy and you will feel better.

Go easy - Life is very easy for the easy goers. Taking things as they are and not trying to mold them makes our life so much simpler. Half of the women in this world are suffering because they want to control people around them like their husband, their children and their in-laws. This is just not possible to control a human being as per your desire so just accept them as they are and live your own life while letting them live theirs. If things are not going the way they were supposed to be, let it be. Just go easy and practice this randomly. Whenever you have a urge to control something, pause for a moment and think what if it doesn't. Is this worth the peace of your mind? If the answer is NO, just move on. Keep doing this until you find yourself in the category of 'The easy goers' 

Be prepared to take criticism - No matter what you do in life, be prepared for this. 

Stop being a perfectionist- You have two hands and with those two hands you can not handle everything to the perfection especially when you have another human being asking for your availability 24x7. If you serve half burnt toast to your husband or coffee with less sugar in it, it won't ruin anyone's life. Just take it easy on yourself. You don't have to clean your house like a OCD person. It is not compulsory to make a 3 course meal for your family. Your sanity is much more important than anyone's pallet. 

Keep yourself first- You cannot keep anyone happy until and unless you are happy. For you to be happy, you need to put yourself first. Give importance to yourself even if that means being selfish and mean. The old school theory that "keep people around you happy and you will be the happiest " doesn't work here. It's too hard to please people so better work on yourself.  Do what pleases you and makes you happy. You can give only what you have. 

Acknowledge your blessings- We all are blessed in some or other way. It's just that we never acknowledge what we have until it's taken away from us. Count your blessings while you have them. Enjoy your motherhood, don't feel burdened. There are thousands and millions of women who are ready to sacrifice their everything just to be called a mother. And of course gratitude, blessings increase with gratitude. Pay your gratitude towards God almighty who made this possible for you, your family, friends and helpers who joined you in this journey. 

Feel blessed, stay blessed! 

Hope you find this blog helpful in getting through your PPD. Share with your friends who might need this survival guide. I wish all of you Good luck.

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